"Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV."
"Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV."
This Is For Not for the Weak-hearted
Submitted by CandiLove on March 24, 2008 - 1:13am.
I didnt know where to post this. I assumed that someone with tax knowledge could be the closest help I can get.
In July of 2007, I lost my first and only child at 5 1/2 months pregnant. He was born alive but passed the next day. So you must understand I wasn't think about calling medicaid to let them know there was no child anymore, asking if I could get him a social security number or where to get a birth & death certificate. No one asked if I wanted to ask for a number. I didn't know better. Well now that I am somewhat sane, I want to know could I still get my son a social security number, not even a card just a number. It feels like he wasn't real. I've started to file taxes, but when I get to child dependents I freeze. I know he's not here anymore, but he was my child. I know you may all take this the wrong way. I didn't know who or how to ask. I feel disgusted w/ myself. It feels like I just claiming him for money. I hope someone can understand where I am coming from. How could I go about it?
If this topic is too off subject please move somewhere else or let me know I need to delete, please.
I will delete if I get an answer.
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Re: This Is For Not for the Weak-hearted
March 27, 2008 - 12:16am
Candilove, I just read your post. My deepest condolences to you and your family. I have never had a child myself, but I do know a thing or two about losing loved ones. I can only imagine that the loss of a child is similar in some ways to the loss of a parent or other loved one.
I hope you're doing relatively OK. Feel free to email me if you need to "talk."
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Re: This Is For Not for the Weak-hearted
March 25, 2008 - 7:00am
Candi~
So sorry to hear your story and what you are going through. It must all be overwhelming, but you are a strong woman and you have a lot of support from GuG.
The responses I've seen at first reading of your post makes me very proud of everyone here! You've received very good help......it's what makes me love GuG so much. Thank you everyone.
I'm going to do some searching myself with some experts this morning to see if there is anything else I can offer you. I have a few errands I must attend to first, but I'll be back with my findings.
Lynn
If I was standing on a fish, I'd slip and fall......
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Re: This Is For Not for the Weak-hearted
March 24, 2008 - 1:53pm
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Re: This Is For Not for the Weak-hearted
March 24, 2008 - 2:31pm
OK I did some digging because this just tugged on my heart strings. I found out some info. If you look on the IRS website you can get the directions on how to file 1040a
http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/i1040a.pdf
If you scroll down to page 20 of the PDF you will see it says:
I hated posting that since it seems like it's worded so coldly but you needed the info. Again hugs to you and I hope this info helped you.
Edit: I also did learn while googling that you can't file for a social security number for a deceased child. I'm guessing that is why they didn't tell you or file one for you. They should have given you with the birth / death certificate some filing information - it would have been nice....sorry.
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Re: This Is For Not for the Weak-hearted
March 25, 2008 - 8:07am
I want to add this (from Publication 501) to smartmom's post. I have also verified her quote in Publication 501. Seeing as you have the birth certificate you will be able to attach it.
- You may be able to claim an exemption for a child who was born alive during the year, even if the child lived only for a moment. State or local law must treat the child as having been born alive. There must be proof of a live birth shown by an official document, such as a birth certificate. The child must be your qualifying child or qualifying relative, and all the other tests to claim an exemption for a dependent must be met.
If I was standing on a fish, I'd slip and fall......
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Re: This Is For Not for the Weak-hearted
March 25, 2008 - 12:55pm
Oh Smartmom! Thank you. I posted this topic because I was searching online for what I needed to do for hours. I couldn't think of what exactly to enter in the search. All of a sudden the light bulb lit up, GUG!!! If you've seen my other postings in this tax thread, I know nothing about taxes. Of course I knew someone would be willing to help me. I love you all! Thanks so much!!
Thanks for support! Sometimes I can't talk to anyone...I feel better. 
I don't want too mushy...Ill cry...Thanks a million!!!
EDIT: We filed our taxes and with the knowledge you gave me, we were able to claim him. Now I feel better. I know now that having his birth certificate and all the photos are as much real as it can get!
BTW...I have blogs and photos about my son on my myspace. I have given some members here my real MS. If you want to join or read just hit my contact box. Thanks!
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Re: This Is For Not for the Weak-hearted
March 24, 2008 - 2:16pm
candylove i saw your post earlier but i couldnt answer because i was too sad. i dont know anything about tax etc but i do know about loosing a baby. many years ago about twenty to be precise - when i was seven months pregnant i also lost a little boy. i will never ever forget him. it never goes away - i dont want it to either. i only held him once. but still remember his little face. so i do know how your feeling. i have no death, birth or any certificate for my son but he is still real to me as my other children and he is thought about daily - i have three other children now and they are great but nothing and no one will replace my son. im so sorry for you and know why you want his life recording in some way. it makes him real. but he is real. he is still with you in spirit. i would never judge anyone for how they choose to deal with one of the worst grief imaginable and no one here would ever be anything but supportive to you.
x
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Re: This Is For Not for the Weak-hearted (LynnH)
March 24, 2008 - 10:43am
this happened to my oldest daughter. still too sensitive of a subject for me to ask how she filed, however, one of our GUG family members, the tax goddess LynnH, will probably chime in soon.
time heals. 1-year later and we have a healthy 5 month old grandson.
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Re: This Is For Not for the Weak-hearted
March 24, 2008 - 6:23am
I know you may all take this the wrong way. I didn't know who or how to ask. I feel disgusted w/ myself. It feels like I just claiming him for money. I hope someone can understand where I am coming from. How could I go about it?
I just wanted to say that I am also very sorry for your loss. My heart broke for you when I read this and I don't think anyone would take this thread as wrong. I hope that you don't feel disgusted with yourself, you went though a very tragic loss. Whether he only lived 24 hours he was still your son and will always be your son. Did you call the hospital that he was born at to ask them? I know that my best friend when though the same exact thing a few years back only her son live just a few hours (like around 5 or 6 hours). The hospital did file for a birth certificate and there was also a death certificate issued. This was not something that she had to do - they did it for her. I think when you are going through a loss like that not to mention having to deal with the whole hormone issues that you can't think straight. So I would also give the hospital a call but yes like steve also said call the SS office too.
I'll drop our resident tax girl a email telling her that there is a tax question in here. Again HUGS to you and absolutely no judgment here you have every right to claim your son.
OK smartmom hug to you
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Re: This Is For Not for the Weak-hearted
March 24, 2008 - 7:52am
Wow.. I'm sorry for your loss. I can't imagine. This is making me tear up thinking about it.
Call Social Security info line today @ 1-800-772-1213 and ask them. Basically you just need to tell them in 2007, you had a premature baby who died 24 hours after birth. Then they will need to tell you if a birth certificate should have been issued by the hospital and if so, ask how you correct this. Tell the person at Soc Sec that you wish to get a birth certificate, social security number, and then death certificate so that there is a record of birth and death for your taxes.
They may say that your baby is considered stillborn and then http://www.irs.gov/publications/p501/ar02.html#d0e3387 will apply. Before I would accept any answer from Soc Sec as gospel, I would call twice to try to get the same answer from two separate people.
You may need to file for an extension on your taxes if you can't get solid answers in time for you to file for the Apr 15 deadline. Post back and let us know what you found out.
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