She found my PO Box info

Yep, it's that "woman scorned" type thing (not that y'all did anything to yours, just stating a reaction people have that's wrapped up in a known phrase) - only hers is really just imagined. it seriously doesn't take much to get her going that direction & then it's a matter of inertia. It seems like, for her, it's a matter of daily efforts NOT to get going in that direction. When we were friends I spent so much time and effort reassuring her about our friendship, her hair, her outfit, that her husband was nice looking that it was just exhausting. I think with people that she's not that personally close to, she puts on a good mask to hide her reactions - which gets you thinking that there really is a personality disorder at work - maybe even the big one - antisocial personality disorder. Being able to mimic the expected emotions of others on call in a convincing way - it's scary because you never really know who's under there.

I'm glad yours has gone away. I didn't know much about psychology when this all started 20 years ago (and i'm not claiming to be an expert now). I think now, though, that all the times i've made her feel stupid have gotten her attached to me in a way not unlike her childhood relationship to her mother/father. I think she grew up hearing those kinds of things and while they're not positive, they are known and familiar and allow her to act out in a known, familiar way. Known/familiar = comfort. So, when I say watch whose buttons you push in dealing with these psychos, I really mean that you have no idea what the outcome might be. Every time something doesn't go her way in life, she looks for her punching bag to feel "normal" and i'm the punching bag. It's really sad, but i've told her i can't worry more about her mental health than she does.

I only use my powers for good - well, 95% of the time anyway

there are some really interesting folks out in this world, aren't there? I'm not used to being met with anything less than disbelief - i'm sure you understand that if you've discussed your situation much.

When she was really launching her campaign against me (sending out bulletins about how adding me would get them a virus - I guess just in case I threatened her "fan base", and posting blogs with my home address, name, telling people I was on the RSO list [??] and posting my myspace profile) I scanned a handful of her old letters and made screen shots of the emails from her about the cancer and from her mom about her being a nut and made my own blog with a slide show of the items and a recitation of the "Castle Laws" in texas. (I can defend my home with deadly force and have no legal duty to retreat). Don't mess with Texas.

Now, I didn't do this prior to trying a legal route. Since the most recent threat (early February) about getting me kicked out of school I've talked to more authorities of every local, state, and federal level that might have jurisdiction - and i'm a criminology major so i have some contacts and education in this regard. She doesn't threaten "bodily harm" but it's implied in myspace default pics of a chick with a machine gun and a mood that simply says, "poison," her saying she's in town and my 8 year old daughter playing outside all day. Since it crosses state lines, it falls into the FBI's jurisdiction but they're up to their ears in child porn - understandably that's a higher priority. I thought maybe they'd put me on a list, but it's like having a hang-nail in the ER - you're not getting in.

so, I suspect that the only remedy would be further hiding, which i've tried. One hobby I have is genealogy and she found me through that 6 months after I'd changed every account & user name I had. That was some process, too. I'd have to just stay off the 'net to get away from her and I'm not willing to let her change my life that way. Ticks me off having to run. So i've stuck to my guns and defended myself where necessary and I don't see an end in sight. She's smart enough not to "legally threaten me" although she thought I threatened her with the Castle laws - but nope.

so. here I am. working through the details and appreciating all the help I can get from the very fine GuG folks. I don't usually do the forum thing, but y'all rock. Thanks for that. And thanks for sharing what you could of your story. helps a lot to know i'm not the only one with a nut following her around. Hope yours works out. It's sure no fun.

I only use my powers for good - well, 95% of the time anyway

She has been "up north" since 1999 or 2000 and there weren't any other friends she really had around here. Her brother still lives here but he does his absolute best to ignore her and doesn't even allow her to stay with him when she comes to town. On top of that, he doesn't have my "real" contact info, just an email address. If she'd gotten that, I'd know from whom she got it.

It IS possible that someone could have seen my mail sitting in my car, but I doubt she has anyone local that's interested in sneaking around to peak in my car for her.

I'm sure i'll never know how she got it but I'd bet she sent a business envelope saying "forwarding address requested" (wouldn't be hard to fake one by any means), real or fake. If it was a real one she'd have to have a buddy in that company that sees the mail to snag it for her. But that's entirely possible. She pulls others into her game with great stories about how she's been wronged. If you talked to her, i'd be the nut job stalker. that's the reason i document her stunts and frequently document my own online pages. I'm really sick of the entire thing.

I only use my powers for good - well, 95% of the time anyway