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Which would you rather?  To be fed false hope through lies, or be told the truth, no matter how bad it sucks?  Me, I'd prefer not be lied to.  Even if that truth is "You're going to die in a nursing home", as long as it's true, I'd far rather hear that than be told I'm going home, when I'm not.

This is a blog in name only. Really just a useful time stamp (like sending yourself a letter, but without postage etc.)  I'm feeling it, the little exploit hairs are starting to twitch.  Granted, I haven't used either myspace or facebook is some time, but there's a lot of reformatting and script changing going on over there and frankly, that often means there's gonna be an issue.

It's was two weeks Sunday that I unexpectedly lost one of my oldest, dearest friends ... one of only a handful of friends that actually live in the same city as I do. Laz was a dirty, raunchy old man and I loved him to death!! We were always there for each other when krap-a-doodle-doo would go down ... he knew how to get me to laugh, and I knew who to get him to smile ... we helped one another climb out of our occasional funks, and could always polish off a good bottle of wine together.

Medicare LIES to people.  When Dad was checked into the hospice facility on 7/7, we were all told that the plan was to get his pain under control, assess the house, and set him up with all the equipment and care needed to die at home.  Well, his pain is mostly under control, although it leaves him in a morphine induced state of paranoia.  The house has been scrubbed top to bottom, just waiting for the Medicare assessor to come and evaluate.  Yesterday, Mom and I met with a social worker to discuss Dad's discharge planning.  She said that Dad has "plateaued&quot

Love is one of the most immense feelings that one person can feel. It is a gateway emotion. It can open the flood gate to many other emotions....pain, rejection, fear, and most oddly enough...hate. One doesn't necessarily have to be a cynic in order to fully understand the complexity of a love/hate relationship. There is truth in the thought that one must have loved another before truly hating the latter.

Lately it seems as though I haven't been able to follow the beat....or at least not able to keep up with the rhythm. Sometimes I feel like things work against me, never with me. Other times the melody flows so smoothly that the harmony is beyond words. I think to myself, If this one thing can't go my way, please let that other thing go my way.

After spending almost 2 full weeks without Gwen, I just couldn't do it anymore.  I need life around me, and my plants just don't cut it.  So, Boyfriend and I headed to the Vet's office last Friday, and let 2 little boys adopt us.

Extremes.  The very day my nephew came into the world, his namesake and grandfather, my Dad, entered Hospice care. 

He made it!  It's been a rough weekend all around for my family, between my father's rapidly declining health and my sister's pregnancy risks becoming more severe, but so far, we're all intact, with a new little man to add to our clan. 

The water's dark and deep inside this ancient heart, you'll always be a part of me