Well things seem to be improving for now.

So I had to take off work today b/c my body is so sore and I am so exhausted from having two panic attacks yesterday. It's really upsetting b/c I havent had a panic attack for a couple of months now and I have proudly been anxiety med free for over a year now. Yesterday managed to bring me down though. Apparently my brothers little accident is destroying my wedding. First off he's getting married in febuary. Feburary 23 to be exact. Assuming inspections and all come back good, we're supposed to be closing on febuary 15th and we have to be moved out of our apartment by march 1st. Oh did I mention my brother, like the rest of my family, is still in MS so I have to drive 500 miles after getting off work to be there for his wedding on the next day and then the day after it I have to leave and turn around and drive 500 miles back so I can get a house ready and Move. Now if we don't get the house, I have to find us another apartment. :/ I am so tired.  Anyhow his wedding makes me have to change mine b/c his bride is using the colors I was going to use. AND BECAUSE I HAD TO CHNAGE MY friggen DATE. WHICH MEANS I HAD TO CHANGE MY LOCATION. WHICH MEANS I HAD TO CHANGE ALL MY friggen PLANS.

That was the cause of panic attack number 2. I was supposed to be getting married with a small ceremony on the beaches of NC on october 4.

Now I'm having a huge wedding, at a winery in ky, June 26th.

That changes food plans, deco plans, guest list, location, honeymoon costs. EVERYTHING.

This is all on top of dealing with this house stuff, some family issues, having a friend move in with me (she's paying rent so I can stay out of debt in the process of trying to get a house lol) and dealing with S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder).

Aside from all of that Panic attack number 1 came from almost being in 3 wrecks in less than 2 minutes, all because 2 stupid big ass trucks (Well one was a hummer but that just makes it more stupid to me) kept darting in and out of different lanes on an exit ramp and I was in the middle of it, then the stupid hummer beeotch wasnt following the lines when she turned and came all the way into my lane forcing me to come to a dead stop in the middle of the busiest road in the whole friggen town.

I think I'm going to go make some tea and try and relax.