Power tools. Or grill. Yes, that's right. And I'm about 99.9% certain most of you clicked on this title just because of it. Don't worry. I felt like a dirty girl just typing it! So into my reason not to touch. Because he has requested of me many years ago, "wife, never....never touch a man's power tools." Me, "okay husband, keep your hands off of my garlic press, egg cuber, etc." And yes, we do call each other "wife" or "husband" always. We have a mutual understanding that my place is in my home. His, providing our lifestyle. Which brings me to my need to touch the tools of the trade (funny, I have some cookware called "Tools Of The Trade") his lawn equipment.
My gardner is scheduled for tomorrow, just like clockwork. Only today, the house is quiet, empty, and I'm finding myself a little on the suffering from boredom side. I think to myself, if I go out-of-doors in the backyard, I could catch some rays and get a good workout if I tackle some yard work myself. Brainstorm. Off came the PJ's on went my camouflaged bikini. Yes, camouflaged. Not sure on my thought process there, it's not like I need to try and blend in. Must be sleep depravation thoughts. Anyway, sunscreen, water bottles, hat, shades, gardening gloves, hiking sandals, and me all head out to the back yard. I found my way into the lawn equipment building and there in all of its glory was the gas powered trimmer. Not the edger thing for lawns, but the trimmer for foliage. I have been wanting to try that out for years. But could always here husband say, "never touch a mans power tools." Well guess what, he's gone today. So I reached for it like it was a Gucci bag and out to the yard I went. What a fracken blast I had! I trimmed bushes, the hedges, the lime and lemon tree, all of the new bamboo shoots which sprout up by the dozens every week. Gone baby gone. Took 'em all out and had a blast doing it. So then I went back into his arsenal of lawn equipment and found hand shears. Love those! And they are so sharp. Trimmed and shaped the paradise bamboo palms like topiaries. They actually turned out very cool.
When I was done, I looked around at all the work I did today. Yard looks great. Still left enough for the gardner tomorrow. Mowing. Edging, etc. But suddenly realized......it all needs raked, picked up, swept, sprayed down, and all that blew into the pool needs cleaned out. Hmm. Suddenly I'm thinking I had a really good time today, but now I actually have to work at it. And the wind is picking up. Today it is in the mid to high 80's. Needless to say, I smell like a trucker and could use a hot shower about now, and an apple martini for all of my hard work.
Now I've convinced myself I could do this. I loved getting out there and getting dirty. Why do I have a gardner? Then remembered....in about 3-4 weeks, it'll be blazing hot here. Triple-digit temperatures for the next 5.5 months. Maybe I'll just stick to my flowers in pots and keeping them watered.
! and he knows i can so i rattled of a few serious explicits that he has no clue what they meant! 
!! we are getting a new father?! 
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my play gardner days are done.
Re: Never Touch A Man's.....
bummer! my gardener didn't show up monday. unusual. nor tuesday. i wasn't the least bit upset. rather, i'm thinking....cool. it is wednesday....touch-a-man's-tools round three! so i ran my errands early this morning only to come home to him standing at my gate, trying to get in. i was crushed. i must be insane. it is over 100 degrees today....but i wanted to mow myself
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Tuna ><((((*> the other white meat!