don't take anything for granted.

i was so touched today i feel compelled to write about an awakening and unexpected experience that happened today. i was having lunch with my mother-in-law and before leaving i went to the restroom to change my sons diaper. while i was in there i was talking to my son and trying to get him to laugh instead of cry. a totally natural thing to do, so i thought. there was a young woman washing her hands next to the changing station and she commented on how beautiful he was. i thanked her and then she made a comment about his onesie and how cute it was. i thanked her again. she asked if he was my first and i explained that i had a 3 yr old as well. as i finished that sentence i finally got a look at the woman. she was starring intensely at my son. so as we made friendly eye contact she continued to tell me that she thought it was nice to hear me talking to him rather than getting upset at him like a lot of parents tend to do when their child is crying. (her opinion and words) i didn't know what to say but thank you. then she continued and layed it on me that she lost her son in january. so here i  am with my baby "trapped", so to speak, in a bathroom with a total stranger thats just told me she lost her son. WHAT IN THE WORLD can you say to something like that? i was speechless and then just told her how sorry i was for her loss. she said it was getting a little better for her. after patting her arm and making more small talk about my son, we proceeded to leave the bathroom. as i walked away i told her i didnt take him for granted. in my head and heart i was kind of making a promise to her and her angel in heaven that i wouldnt ever take my kids for granted. a conscious decision right then and there. she replied "i can tell." and just like that we parted ways.
 

i have friends and family who have lost children. i could never imagine the pain and loss. i feel a certain loss myself when i think of them. i, like their parents, wonder what would life be like if they were alive. and i ache. my heart aches. i ache for the young lives never to be and mostly i ache for the pain my loved ones hold deep in their hearts.

so the point of my little blog is that i, on behalf of all the little angels, will not take life or my children for granted. i will embrace every coo & every "mama" as well as every cry. todays trip to the bathroom was one of those metaphorical slaps on the cheek that God gives you to bring you back to reality..... the "things could be worse" speech that your mom would give you along with "the look" and i just wanted to pass it on.